A lesson I learned from a little bird this weekend

Mourning_Dove_2006I want to tell you a story about something that happened this weekend. A dove sat on my windowsill outside my bedroom window. I woke up to hear him cooing. I pulled the curtain back, and he didn’t fly away. He stared at me and coo’d some more. His eyes were not black but more of an almost orange color. Maybe it was the way the sun reflected into his eyes but it looked like flames of a fire.  As crazy as it sounds, I am sure I have seen him once before.

He danced around on the window ledge cooing for hours. I am serious. I got out of bed, made breakfast and showered. He was still there… alone… just cooing.

As I left the house a few hours later, I turned to look at my bedroom window and he was still perched on it all alone and still cooing incessantly. He was determined. It was like he was searching or waiting for something and he was not giving up so he kept asking and calling out for it.

I walked down the front steps and to the path on the sidewalk. Suddenly from across the street another Dove called back. I watched the one on my windowsill get very quiet and hop around. He stretched his neck in disbelief as the second dove called again. The one on the windowsill called out and flew towards the other Dove’s call.

I had decided I was going to work out outside that day, so I began my 8 mile trek. The whole time I thought about that dove and how I could apply his lesson to my life.

Mourning DoveHe wanted something and knew that if he stayed resilient it would come to him. He had faith and confidence. He was determined and obviously believed in what he was doing. He never gave up.

If there is something we really want in life, we have to stay strong. We have to believe in ourselves even when others may choose not to believe in us.  We need to have faith to follow our dreams and listen to our hearts. Confidence and determination are keys to success.

This little bird, reminded me of that this weekend.

He reminded me that even when we feel all alone that if we call out, someone will be there.  We cannot just give up.

Things in my life are changing at a rapid pace. I have always feared change, but I am learning to embrace it, accept it, and enjoy it.

Mercy

Yes that is me in BUNNY ears!

Okay I lost a bet with my daughter…….. and I always follow through when I lose….. Here I am wearing bunny ears singing Lil’ Bunny Foo Foo

Yeah I am proud to say I am a dork! bahahahaha AND this is why YOU LOVE ME! xoxoxo

Whose legs are those?

I discovered something this morning about myself…..

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I wasn’t going to post anything about it because I didn’t want to seem pretentious, egotistical or self-absorbed…..

I was worried what other people would think…. WHAT? ME??

Yes… I was….

BUT I thought long and hard about it…

I have been VERY frustrated with my lack of weight loss the last few months. I have started calorie restrictions no more than 1200 net a day. I have hit the gym EVERY DAY. (Okay yesterday I skipped it, but in my defense I did 8 miles yesterday OUTSIDE.)

Still the scale REFUSES TO BUDGE even ½ an ounce.

WTH???

People are saying muscle weighs more than fat… blah blah.. blah… trying to keep me on track…

Then today I look down and I see this….

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Look at those legs….

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Whose legs are those?

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My legs have never looked like that?

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When I weighed 355 pounds they never looked like that.

Are those my legs?

Damn those are some mighty fine looking legs.

Wait those are my legs?  Really?

At the risk of sounding pretentious, egotistical, and yes self-absorbed… MY legs FREAKING rock!

That is all…..

Xoxox Mercy

Sharing with you an old family recipe and just who I am.

Saint Patrick’s Day is a HUGE celebration in my house. It always has been since I was a child. I am going to share with you a family recipe you may want to use. Now before I tell you what it is, I have to give you a bit of a back story because I am a writer, and there is always a story in something.

I was born Eileen Ann Daley. 2me

Mercedes Montgomery came about after I did a comedy song that had some airplay. From there I ended up doing call ins to radio shows and was always introduced under that name, Mercedes Montgomery. The American Country Radio Network said I was funny and charming. Who would have thought that? They asked me to come on board with them where I hosted multiple radio shows under the name Mercedes Montgomery and took on a position as Vice President of Promotions. From there I landed at CATZ Radio and worked as a Program Director and on-air personality. During my tenure there both I and the station won multiple awards.  I next landed at Clear Channel Radio and within a few years was sitting on Music Row doing Traffic for Nashville. Music Row and Radio… that had been my dream but I always wanted to write a book, so I did. Last Year March 31, 2014 my very first novel came out and it made sense to use the name so many people now knew me by, Mercedes Montgomery.

The point of this long diatribe is, my real name is Eileen Ann Daley. I am Irish. I identify as Irish. I was raised in a very Irish household. My father had the Irish flag and our family’s crest always hung inside our home.  As a small child I was constantly submerged into my families, history, culture, language, and beliefs. This is so important for a child. All children need to know where they come from and who they are. Without that identity, there is emptiness and a loss.  The greatest gift my father gave me was my pride in my culture.

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When people ask what are you? I say I’m Irish.

I am NOT 100% Irish though.  I just never learned about the other cultures in my family history. They were forgotten or brushed aside for various reasons.

I love research and genealogy.  I have been able to track my ancestors back to their boats.  The Voss’ came from Germany; The Daley’s and Duff’s came from Ireland, but the Goff’s I have no idea.

Charles Goff was my father’s grandfather. He was born in March of 1883. He never had a birth certificate.  He said he was taken away from his family when he was 5 years old with other children he was not related to. He was taken to a place by a woman he had never met before that he was told to call his Aunt Frances.  Aunt Frances was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen he told my grandmother. That’s why he gave my grandmother the middle name Frances. 1grandmaandauntstella

Aunt Frances took him to a place where he was told he could not stay because he was too different. He was adoptable. He and a few other boys were then brought to an orphanage in Harrisburg, PA. This would have been around 1888.

He told my grandmother that he was beaten every day while at the orphanage; again it was because he was too different.  He and another boy ran away. They ended up at the ship yards in Philadelphia, where he began to work. He met my great-grandmother Celestine (Stella) Faurbach there. Her family came from Germany.  I was told he always pronounced her last name Fire-back but it was pronounced F-hour-bach according to my grandmother.  She died after giving birth to my grandma.

I would love to someday know who Charles Goff was. Where he came from and what his story was.  How or why was he given away, where was he taken to, and why was he different?  I don’t think I’ll ever know. I’ve tried multiple times to find anything I could out about him. That part of my ancestry is gone forever, so when people ask, what are you? I say what I know.

Tá mé hÉireann  –   I’m Irish dress6

Okay I promised you a family recipe. My favorite bread is called Brown Bread.  It is one of the easiest things you can make!

You will need whole wheat flour, all purpose flour, salt, baking soda, buttermilk and unsalted butter. Preheat your oven to 400 degrees.

Take out a cookie sheet and dust it with flour.  Next take a bowl and add 1 tsp of salt, and 1 ½ tsps of baking soda,  1 3/4 cups of all purpose flour, and 2 ¼ cups of whole wheat flour. You will want to stir and mix that really well. Get rid of any clumps so it is nice and smooth.

Next, melt 4 tablespoons of unsalted butter. Take 2 cups of buttermilk and shake it really well.  Pour the melted butter into the flour mixture and add the shaken buttermilk. Now mix this with your hands. Make sure the dough is moist and the dough holds together. This should take about 1 minute.

At this point you should lightly flour a clean surface to work on and place your dough on it. You will want to knead this for about another  minute. Next, make this to be a nice smooth ball. Once you have this you will want to flatten it so that it has roughly a 6 to 7 inch diameter and is about 2 inches deep. Pick it up and place it on your lightly floured baking sheet.

Take a sharp knife and cut an X into the top of it from corner to corner about ½ inch deep.

Place it into your pre-heated oven and let it cook for 35 -40 minutes. Knock on the top of the bread when you pull it out. If it sounds hollow, it is done.

Next place it on a rack to cool completely.

This is SO IMPORTANT

DO NOT CUT IT ….

Wait 2 hours to let it completely cool before you cut it and serve it. If you do not wait the full 2 hours, your bread will crumble and fall apart.

If you try this and make it, let me know what you think! I absolutely love it and will be serving it tomorrow with our traditional dinner.

Respect

I always try my hardest to be a supportive and loving person but sometimes my mouth does not cooperate with my heart or my intentions and things just blurt out.

Ever happen to you?

I’m learning to try and filter myself. This is not an easy task for me.  If it pops in my head, it usually pops right out of my mouth or onto my keyboard and out in to the cyber world.

Yes, I am the person who will stay up all night because someone is WRONG on the internet!  Ha! This is why some of you love me, and possibly why some of you hate me.

I get hot! I get passionate. I get a fire started and I go for it! If you follow me on twitter you’ve seen it happen. Get me on a topic and I ignite. It is explosive.

I am not perfect, but I am enthusiastic, fervent, and zealous. Yes, I have passion and some hot button issues.

I know this. I accept this.  It is who I am.

Some people respect me for it.

Some people fear me over it.

Some people love me for it.

Some do not……

That use to bother me, not so much anymore…..

When I make a mistake, and trust me I make mistakes. I apologize and move forward. It is all part of growing.

We are all constantly learning and evolving. We just have to open our eyes and do so intentionally; not blindly like so many of us, including myself, have.

It’s easy to spout off words on a computer and throw them like knives at an enemy, but what we cease to realize is on the other side is a living, breathing person with feelings and emotions.

Their truth is just that, THEIR TRUTH.

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Now it may not be mine or yours, and we may feel compelled to educate and point out the close mindedness or obscurity of their words, actions, behaviors, but in the end respect is the lesson to be learned.

They might not be valuing our view points or our beliefs but do we disregard what we have been taught ourselves about respect to demand it of others?

Education is the key; perhaps there are other ways to go about educating people of the topics we are so passionate about.

Twitterstorms are awesome!

When I am participating in a twitterstorm on a hot button topic for myself, I have stopped responding to anyone who is looking to derail from that topic into a personal fight. They can shoot me all the messages they want on why they believe the R*word is not racist; they can all me names and threaten me physically. I will not respond.

You should see the messages I get sometimes from people when I talk about rape, sexual abuse, and domestic violence. I don’t know if they actually realize there is a living, breathing, human being on the other end that they are sending these vile messages to.

I no longer fire back. They are just words on a computer screen from a person to afraid to face their own demons that they need to try and scare me with mine.

Again education is the key.

Writing is a fantastic way to heal and to get the issues that I am passionate about out and into the world.  My books are thrillers with some romance, diverse characters, in life or death situations.  I cover many topics like suicide, rape, incest, murder, addictions, bigotry, domestic violence, and many, many more topics.

Debating

Fighting.

I’m over it

I’m done with it.

It’s all about educating now.

I believe I can be part of the change.

Can you?

Goals

h1.6Do you set goals for yourself?

I use to set them all the time but I would get so bummed out if I didn’t attain them.  I would get really negative and be like oh I failed again, I can never do anything right, so I stopped setting goals. I was stuck in idle for a long time allowing others decisions good or bad effect the course of my life.  Still kind of do that, but I’m trying to break free.

I failed to realize that when I set a goal, even if I didn’t achieve the end result, I was further than I had been when I started.

Goals are important. My father always said to me that the most important question to ask a man was, “Where do you see yourself in ten years?”

I asked the man I married that question before I married him, he replied, “I don’t know.”

Ten years in to our marriage and there we were still living in “I don’t know.”

On our 10th anniversary I asked, “Where do you see us in 10 years?”

His reply again was, “I don’t know,” and on our 20th wedding anniversary we were still living in limbo in the world of I don’t know, directionless, with nothing real to show, other than debt…. lots and lots of debt.

Twenty-three years now, I want direction. I want a life. I want to attain my dreams and my goals. I have waited too long to try and set goals with a person who does not desire to have direction or goals but to just cruise through life.  He is the father of my children, all 5 of them. I will always love him and he will always have a place in my heart, but I cannot live idle anymore. I refuse to do so.

I want to fly. I want to experience life. I want to be happy, really happy. I want the freedom to do what I want and go where I want without having to beg or ask for permission for basic needs and necessities. I want to live. I want to be strong. I want to be acknowledged, and be recognized as the brave vibrant woman I am.

Is that wrong? h1.7

Goals…. Do you have them? Do you set them?

I am going to the gym 7 days a week now. This is huge for me, last year at this time I could not even walk a mile. I lost 5 pounds this week. I am working on my own, with trainers, and taking a boot camp class. I’m hoping this will help with my personal goal to get healthy. I want to be off of insulin in May.  It is a possibility.  No it is not just a possibility. IT WILL HAPPEN.

I have had 4 books published in the last year, Silence, Deception, Shadows in the Storm, and Combustion.  I have a new book Obsession with a tentative release date of May 2015, and Expedition (Tentative title) the 3rd book in the NAWS series due out in mid-late summer.

Combustion on audio book will be out any day. Shadows in the Storm will be released on audio book in April of 2015. Silence and Deception will both come out on audio book in early summer prior to the third in the series release.

That isn’t all of my goals though. I have been doing a lot and lot of writing. I have dozens of loglines, treatments and pilot episodes written for television. I have even written a few film scripts romantic comedies and dramas.  I want to start selling those.  Let me change the way I just said that.

s19I WILL START SELLING THOSE.

See something has changed in me. I believe in myself. I don’t think I have ever believed in myself the way I do now.  If you have read my blogs from the start you most likely have watched me grow and evolve this year.  I’ve struggled and fought with myself, my emotions, my memories, and my identity all year long.

I think I finally understand who I am and my place in this world.

Growth and change hurts; it is scary but I refuse to coast and be idle any longer.

This is my life, and I am going to live it.

Are you going to stand up, move forward, and live yours?  It’s time to be Brave…. I love this song!

Kindness is Contagious…

Maya Angelou said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

What amazing words to live by. I always try to build people up. I point out their strengths and have a tendency to be a bit of a cheerleader. I’ve found some people don’t really like this; however, this is one part of me I refuse to change.

There was a time in my life when I needed a cheerleader, heck I could use one right now.  (wink) Couldn’t we all?

I think when you bless others with a compliment or support, you also bless yourself.  It feels good to be a bright light for a friend, a family member, or even an acquaintance.

Kindness is contagious.

Some days you just don’t know what that kind word could mean to someone. A kind word could change the entire day, the entire week, or possibly a person’s life.

Kindness is a lost art form.

I want you to stop and think of three people you spoke to today, in person, on the phone, via email… How did they make you feel?  Now think, why did you feel that way? How do you think you made them feel?

It is easy to forget that others have feelings and emotions too. We need to relearn the art of kindness, love, and respect. We need to cherish others feelings as much as we cherish our own.

Kindness is contagious.

Make an effort to call someone today you haven’t talked to in a while. They might be glad you called. Hmmm that reminds me of a great song from a few years ago by Matt Kennon.

If you get a chance check out my website!